Mother God,
You made me in your image.
I prayed to you in hard times,
when my beloved beat me.
He acted as if he didn't know me.
I am a daughter of God.

1. INTRODUCTION

This thesis should be read as a message of hope and a prayer for battered and abused people everywhere that they may live peaceful lives and enjoy the fruits of healthful relationships whether they be gay, lesbian, transsexual, heterosexual or otherwise.

Though God's gift of sexuality is undeniably one of humans' basic needs, we cannot assume that sex and love always do no harm. In fact, violence and abuse scar many intimate relationships. "Violence robs us of knowledge of life and its intrinsic value; it steals our awareness of beauty, of complexity, of our bodies. Violence ignores vulnerability, dependence and interdependence." (Brock and Parker 2001, 9)

Some partnerships that ostensibly are celebrated as expressions of lifelong love degenerate into danger and sometimes even death. A sheath of silence denies a public hearing on the truth while the story of commercialized sex American-style is linked to myriad concepts that move beyond love and companionship to lust, hate, manipulation, disease, and violence. Though love/sex is for sale, both here and abroad, few can afford the price.

For instance, half of all marriages and some civil unions will dissolve this year, leaving lovers divided and families afloat. If we valued ourselves and our partners enough to let go of overly romanticized images of what pop culture says the union of two lovers should be, we would take a step toward more lasting, satisfying bonds based on equality. But therein lies the rub.

Though in the first book of the Bible God created both woman and man in God's own image, in that same book woman was blamed for humankind's fall from God's grace. Eve's daring move to taste fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, which symbolizes wisdom, to this day is used to support discrimination against and oppression of women in both church and secular society.

While not discounting the truth that oppression and violence haunt many people in marginalized groups in society, this paper focuses on all women, the heirs of Eve, who bear the brunt of societal slurs and the lashes of their intimate abusers. From this truth is born a woman-centered ethic that challenges patriarchal privilege that is embedded in our society. Central to this ethic is that broken things need not remain as they are, and that allies in the quest for right-relatedness appear when and where we may least expect them.



A good ethic reframes how communities think about
domestic violence and challenges them to accept their complicity.