Though battered women have every reason to reject the violence
inherent in Jesus' crucifixion, rethinking the story of Peter's
betrayal and subsequent remorse may be helpful to some battered
women in their process of resurrecting their broken lives.
Imagine Peter as a batterer
Jesus prophesied to Peter, his chosen one, that Peter would deny him three times before the morning of his execution. Despite Peter's continued pledge always to be true, he denied Jesus as was predicted. Jesus was crucified with no appeal from Peter.
Battered women, who believe they had chosen a loving partner,
are often denied a peaceful life more than three times with no
sign of true remorse from their batterer before they eventually
leave. Other women's lives become a series of betrayals and spates
of feigned remorse. Still others find their lives to be so deeply
endangered that they kill their abuser.
A batterer who shows true remorse for his abusive behavior by
adopting nonviolent ways to interact with his partner can save
his marriage. But working through years of hurt and betrayal is
difficult and fraught with pitfalls, especially for women victims.
"The decision about that must rest with the woman he has
harmed." (Adams 1994, 100)
Abuse survivors may also benefit from recasting the famed Power
and Control Wheel and replacing it with an Equality Wheel. In
the recast wheel, Equality replaces Power and Control. Coercive
and Abusing Behaviors become Negotiation and Fairness; Nonthreatening
Behavior; Respect; Trust and Support; Honesty and Accountability;
Responsible Parenting; and Shared Responsibility. (DV Intervention
Project, Duluth, Minn.)